This dog was the best coin flip I’ve ever lost. After narrowing it down to two dogs, we picked which one to take home by flipping a coin. I had our other choice in my arms, and I lost the bet, so Darryl it was! And I must say, I love our mutt. He’s adorable. He’s got a dynamic personality. He’s super soft. He’s protective. He’s loving. He gives the best hugs by pressing his side up next to you. He even pitches in on chores! I mean, someone’s got to lick every crumb off the floor, protect the house, sleep on behalf of those who can’t, and greet everyone every single time they come home. We have no worries, Darryl makes sure none of these things go overlooked.

At just under fifty pounds, he’s not a huge dog. The German Shepard in him made sure he sounds about twice as large as he is though. When he deems something a threat to his family, he can work up a bark that would certainly scare me away if he wasn’t my own. He’s not totally fearless though. When the vacuum cleaner comes out, his tough shell is no where to be found. All he wants is to be in one of our laps being comforted. He often times will be shaking and is always visibly distressed until the vacuum has been put away out of sight. While I know the vacuum cleaner won’t hurt him and isn’t much to fear, that doesn’t mean he’s able to magically stop himself from being afraid.

This simple fact is what helped me accept a valuable lesson. I often times find myself believing my emotions over certain things are invalid or something I shouldn’t be feeling. A perfect example is when we were trying to make a decision about school. I knew God was telling me that homeschooling was the way we needed to go. I logically knew everything would be fine. I’ll still go to college. I can still make a good life for myself. That a switch in schooling won’t forfeit His plans. He’s still in control. Logically, the fact that God’s totally got this should have been enough to ease my mind. I found my brain telling myself to not worry about it, to just believe what I know logically and trust that homeschooling is the right decision and everything will be fine. I was still anxious over the change though, whether I should have been or not.

Not once have I looked at my dog when he’s cuddling up next to me because the vacuum is out and told him, “You shouldn’t be afraid, just go face it.” It doesn’t matter whether or not he should be afraid. The fact is, he is afraid and needs some love and snuggles to make things ever so slightly better until the evil thing is put away.

It didn’t matter how many times K (therapist) told me that my anxiety over switching education paths wasn’t invalid. It took Darryl to really help that resonate with my brain. In his own little way, my dog taught me a pretty big lesson. Sure, he may not be able to talk, but he certainly does communicate. His fear is evident when the vacuum comes out, and it’s every bit as valid as my anxiety whether or not we have reason to feel those emotions or not. I’d never put him down for his fear, and I know I should work on being easier on myself for feeling certain things too.