For three months, I’ve resisted any and all urges to cut. For an entire quarter of a year, I’ve stayed clean.

Just let that sink in for a bit.

This was a huge milestone for me to hit last week. In the past three months, a lot has happened- a lot that resulted in stress levels that always resulted in cutting months prior. We started a meal plan. I took possibly the most stressful class of my life in the second summer semester. For a span of two and a half days or so, I sincerely thought I had ruined my GPA in this summer class. I cannot even begin to describe how huge of a trigger this was. I switched from an early college high school to homeschooling. And then there were all of the other little instances.

There have certainly been times I’ve come extremely close to breaking, but at this point, I can’t remember when the last one was. That in itself is huge to me. The fact that I’m triggered much less easily and less frequently now, it tells me there’s progress. That first month was an intense battle. The second month was still tough, but I was starting to get the hang of fighting. Now, after three months, I’m feeling like a true warrior.

Faith was my charm of choice this time around. God’s been having lots of fun lately reminding me to have faith. He knows that if I can just trust Him, everything will work out according to His will. That’s easier said than done- but He’s not giving up on me, and I’ll get there one day. One day I’ll have the faith I need to trust that He’s up to something good and that I need to just trust Him on it.

I’ve learned that having the motivation of getting to add onto my beautiful recovery bracelet at certain milestones has been amazing. It keeps me fighting because I don’t want to have to start back at square one! I just want to keep on fighting and winning new charms because that really is what it takes for me to get one. It takes lots and lots of little victories to make it to the next milestone I’ve decided will mark buying a new charm for myself. This bracelet and the two charms on it are worth a lot more than the price I paid for them. They’re worth lots of determination and other’s support and a few tears and a breakdown or two. They were hard work, but they’re also so rewarding to be able to buy.

So here’s to three months clean, and however many more are to come. Here’s to all of the things that went into these three months. Here’s to recovery motivation and pretty bracelets. Here’s to a brighter tomorrow, because I now know things do get better.