It was last November that all of this started, the topic of my blog. November may be an abnormal month to be nostalgic in, yet I can’t help it. All month, the events of the past year have been playing through my mind, and my emotions over it all are mixed, to say the least. It feels like only yesterday I was dipping my toe into a pool filled with dangerous water before slipping and falling in. A year later, I’m hauling myself out of the water that’s seemingly turned into thick mud.

A year. So many things change in the short span of one year. I can still remember most things quite vividly, but a lot of them feel dreamlike. I remember certain events, but it doesn’t feel like they actually happened to me. It’s an almost out of body experience. Let me just say, it’s a strange feeling at times.

I can’t help but wonder if I’ll spend every November looking back. But somehow, I don’t think I will, not like the first few years at least. As time wears on, November will become nothing more than the eleventh month of the year, as it once was. It will be the month of my father’s birthday. It will be the month of Thanksgiving. It will be the month that marks the beginning of the Christmas season. It will be the month that, where I’m from at least, the weather can’t decide whether it’s ready for it to be winter or not. Instead of being the month that my eating disorder began, November will, I believe, return to being just November.