Honestly, posts written about/based off of songs are not easy for me to share. Music is a highly personal thing to me. It can caress my heart, excite my spirit, ease my mind, move my soul. Sharing that is vulnerable. After I write about a song, you’ll be hard-pressed to find me listening to it around anyone—not now that I’ve poured out what runs through my mind when my ears hear it. For this reason, I’ve been hesitant to continue sharing and discussing songs. You all seem to like such posts though, and I felt inspired to write about this song. And anyone who writes knows that when that itch to write comes to your fingers and that urge to express stirs your spirit, you have to go with it. So here I find myself yet again spilling my thoughts on a song.

Finding a routine since the start of school has proven anything but easy. I will spare you all the details, but let’s just say that the routine I’m in right now is not ideal and not where I’d like to be. My sleep schedule is a wreck (nothing new there); I’m fatigued constantly; I could not tell you when I last truly took time for myself—writing this post is probably the first real bit in a month.

While on my way to class one day, this song pulled me out of my mind after I had gotten lost thinking about all of this and everything that I would need to get done once home. Spotify played it as a suggested song, and I nearly skipped it because I wasn’t much in the mood for discovering new music. How happy I am that I let it play now though! Being so easily distracted, I need repeated reminders to keep me focused on what is truly important.

I can worry all I want about school, about college, about my future, but there is only so much I can control. My life belongs to the ever mysterious, always faithful Living God. Fighting for more control never ends well; there is a reason God asks us to lean on Him instead of on our own understanding. We understand so little! He sees the big picture and knows what is best for us.

Strangely dim: what all the stresses I carry become when I am intentional about keeping my eyes on my Creator. It does not take much for me to get worked up— like, really worked up. I lose sight so easily of the characteristics of God, and at times, I am weary of His plans. I am not always willing to blindly trust Him. I am not always willing to be stretched and pulled and reshaped and grown because let’s face it, that process is rarely painless or quick. I am not always willing to jump off of my figurative telephone pole, taking the leap of faith.

It all becomes a lot less paralyzing when I’m not focused on wading through the waves that could crash though. It all becomes a lot more manageable when we’re focused on the size of our God instead of the size of our problems, or possible problems. Life becomes more enjoyable, and the doubts and fears become mere shadows in the background—dull and strangely dim.