When I really think about what I want to achieve my senior year—setting aside all of the somewhat unrealistic expectations I have for myself—these seemingly straightforward concepts are it: balance, simplicity.

They may not seem to be the most noble of goals at first glance, but that is by society’s standards—and society tends to praise the overworked and overdrawn.  We’ve lost track of the things that actually bring meaning to our lives, trading them in to chase the ever out-of-reach concept of success.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m as guilty of this as the next guy or gal.  The mere thought of letting go of even the smallest bit of control is somewhat terrifying.  Yet when I dream of the future, I do not picture myself as an anxiety-laden wife and mother who worries and frets constantly about every frivolous detail.

Letting go of the illusion—because that is all it really is—of control frightens me.  What if I find myself on the opposite end of the spectrum: unmotivated, lazy, no direction for my future at all? My mind finds the concept of a less-anxious-but-still-driven-self nonsensical.  The two ideas together form an oxymoron in my brain, and I find it difficult to believe and trust that I can have passion without anxious obsession.

Thus, my words of senior year: balance, simplicity.  For someone who is a black or white, all or nothing, obsessive-compulsive kind, these words are no joke.  They carry weight.  If I am serious about making my dreams come true though, the anxiety has got to go—I have no place for it in my future.

“Our life is frittered away by detail. Simplify. Simplify.” –Henry David Thoreau

I want to live in the moment; it is a more appealing way of life than worrying about waves that may never come.  I want to let go of the little things; it sure would save me a lot of energy for the bigger ones.  I want to be able to settle and be content—content with simplicity.

Life is meant to be enjoyed, not feared. This year, I want to learn how to embrace each moment and each accompanying emotion for what they are: a part of life. Part of that will be quieting the things that do not contribute to the living of life to the fullest, so that I can become more aware of the things that do. Part of it will be finding a balance between the two. Most of it will be simplifying—clearing away the clutter until all that remains are the most enriching elements.

Balance. Simplicity. These are the things I want to strive for.