This is it. I’m laying in bed with Copper at my feet on my last night at home before beginning my career as a college student. Everything I could possibly need plus more is all packed up, leaving our dinning room in a state of organized chaos for now. It hasn’t fully hit me yet. It feels a lot like I’m about to embark on a long vacation, but will return shortly nevertheless. In a way, I suppose college is like a long vacation, minus the kick-back-and-relax part. I’ll be eight hundred miles away from my family, dogs, and the place I’ve called home my entire life. Ever since getting back from vacation, it’s been a whirlwind of dorm shopping, summer reading and essay writing, packing, and goodbyes. As excited as I am to jump into college life, right now all I can think about is what I’m leaving behind. From where I stand now, college is a land of unknowns. I’ve seen my room. I’ve met my roommate. I know a couple of people on campus. I’ve met a few professors. I’ve gotten glimpses here and there, but I have yet to experience the full extent of life on campus.

That all changed last Friday. I moved in six days ago and have been going non-stop since. Orientation has been packed, but it ends tomorrow just in time for the start of classes on Thursday. As of two days ago, I am a psychology major completing pre-requisites for medical school, which almost gives me a chemistry minor. I’m still in a little shock about that— never once did I picture myself having anything to do with chemistry. I’ll be playing in the chamber orchestra, and am looking into other ways to be involved on campus such as running for freshman class president. It’s turning into a very busy semester!

Being here though, being here has been incredible. Within these first six days I have already felt so alive and so loved. Vulnerability and rawness are scary. I’ve talked about that much before. They make me feel alive though. Realness and transparency give me a rush of energy.
The funny thing about blocking out emotions is that not only do you block out the painful ones, but the joyful ones too. All summer long, I dulled my senses and trapped myself in numbness. I think I was afraid of what feelings I would feel with all the changes up ahead. I’m here now though, the unknown is no more. I’m on campus, getting to know the other psychology majors who make up my orientation team, getting to know my hall mates, having lunch in the great hall with classmates.

Saturday afternoon, after my family hit the road to head back home, I hung out on the lawn with a large group of other freshman plus one of the orientation team leaders. We had some eno hammocks up and a kid had a ukulele he was playing and singing along with. It was a super chill time just getting to know one another. My second night here it poured down rain, and I had to run through it from one end of campus to the other. The next morning before church, I had to run across campus through the rain again. A hall mate was kind enough to lend me her extra rain coat, but we still ended up drenched. We finally dried out by the end of church and were able to laugh about the disadvantage of our residence hall being at the far end of campus.

It’s the little things like these that are already making my time here rich with small adventures. We’re all running low on sleep with days packed full of activities to get us connected to each other and keep our minds off of home, and late nights spent doing readings for a required core class that has already started. I should be exhausted right now, and I am. I’ve fallen asleep twice today in what little time I had between orientation activities, and I am still in desperate need of more sleep. It’s one in the morning and I’m laying on the couch in my hall’s commons writing this blog post though because that’s what I do when I can’t sleep, which is the case at the moment. There’s been so much happening and no time to reflect on it. Orientation is over tomorrow afternoon though, and my first order of business will be a nap. Let the college life begin.