Last week, God really placed the concepts of forgiveness, grace, and reconciliation on my heart. Last Sunday, I posted a rant talking about the things about my roommate that were getting on my nerves. I was frustrated, losing patience, and turned to social media to vent those feelings instead of letting the person these emotions were directed at know. I said some mean things about a fellow child of God, and that’s not okay. We should be lifting each other up, but I tore her down.

During our dinnertime conversation the next night, my RA asked me about this post and called me out on the un-Christlike action. At first, I felt attacked and was a bit upset about her comment. It’s never fun to be called out and rebuked, but I’m so glad she did so anyway, and I know she did it in love. Once I got past feeling a bit bombarded, I was able to really search my heart. The conversation between my RA and I about this post really pressed on my heart throughout the day following our dinner. We had the day off classes for a day of prayer and worship (we do this once a semester here at my college, and I love it), and much of my reflection throughout the day was on this particular occurrence. From the time I got up bright and early to go to a sunrise worship service until I went to bed, I just felt the heaviness of my actions.

That is not a bad thing. Bearing the guilt and shame of what I’d done was not fun, but it was good. It was a healthy guilt and a shame I needed to feel. It was the Holy Spirit telling me I’d gone wrong and needed to take steps to make amends.

This seems like such a small and trivial thing, but it really got me. It got me thinking about reconciliation and how hard of a concept that can be. I spent post-dinner feeling like a terrible human being and being really upset with myself for making such a post. It really made me feel worthless, not necessarily because I was called out, but because I’d messed up in the first place. It wasn’t the first time I’ve sinned, and it certainly won’t be the last, but I felt like this particular mistake made me unworthy of love as a person. I was imperfect, and someone else saw it.

The cool thing is that we can still go back and try to right the wrong we’ve done. This past week especially, I am so thankful for grace and second chances. The concept of unconditional love is so foreign to human minds, but this perfect love, this goodness of grace, that God extends to us is what allows us to be reconciled with Him, and with each other.

I eventually talked to my roommate, I told her about the post and about how I was frustrated with her last weekend. I knew she had not seen the post, and I deleted it following Monday’s dinner conversation, but I felt pressed to confess it to her. And you know what? She didn’t even really care. She just extended forgiveness to me and was glad I’d told her. Because of her ignorance about the post, it didn’t affect her, but it affected me. I by no means run to confess and ask for forgiveness from everyone for every time I’ve done wrong, but I’m glad I did this time.

To know I was forgiven, was still loved and worthy because of grace, and reconciled with God and my roommate was such a weight off of my shoulders.

Social media has a lot of power which can be an awesome thing, but can also be detrimental. It’s good to have reminders like I just did that I need to constantly be assessing the things I say on the internet, constantly striving to build people up and live in a Christ-imitating manner.
Day of prayer this semester allowed for needed reflection, rest, and reconciliation. I am so thankful for it, and I’m so thankful for grace and second chances.