I spent six hours this evening writing out 54 muscles’ origins, insertions, actions, innervation, and blood supply in preparation for an anatomy lab practical on Monday. I still have bones, vasculature, nerves, ligaments, etc. to review as well as what all of these things look like in each of our eight donor bodies. Realistically, I probably won’t get through all of that before Monday, but I’ll do what I can without sacrificing too much sleep and sanity. I could (and will) spend my entire life learning about the human body, but I won’t ever learn it all. We are far too complex beings. 

For some, this would be far from an enjoyable Saturday evening. And while there are certainly many things I would rather be doing on the weekend, I also don’t really mind it. I genuinely like learning about the human body and find most of it really fascinating, and I feel as though I grow closer to God and learn more about him the more I learn about the intricacies of the human body and medicine. Many of you have heard me say it before, and I am sure you will hear me say it again: humans are amazing. Our bodies, they’re amazing. I know we all often hear about the things that go wrong in peoples’ bodies, particularly in the middle of a pandemic, but there are so many things that we don’t hear about going wrong because our bodies are able to compensate and adapt and regulate. 

Now that’s not to say we are infallible and that people don’t get sick and can’t be born with various congenital anomalies or develop chronic diseases. We live in a broken world and there is a seemingly endless supply of broken bodies; I wouldn’t have a future career if that wasn’t the case. But underneath all of that are some pretty incredible systems that (in most of us) fight to keep us alive and well every day with good success rates. 

I feel like I am finally getting back into the rhythms of academic life, and find myself once again enjoying the discipline of studying, memorizing, learning. I knew coming into medical school that it would require sacrifice; missing out and saying no to a lot of things to prioritize studying; and not always being as available as I would like to be to my loved ones. I’m certainly not the only one making sacrifices to follow this dream. I knew what I was signing up for though, so none of this is a surprise. 

So tonight, I spent six hours in a windowless room studying God’s most complex creation: humans. Tomorrow, I’ll do more of the same. And it’s not going to be perfect. I’m never going to know everything I want and need to know. I’m still trying to find the balance in achieving a high level of proficiency within the limits of my finitude and humanity. I’m still trying to figure out how to adequately prepare for the responsibility of caring for others while properly caring for my own body and mind along the way. It’s a work in progress, and I suspect it always will be.